Saturday, April 24, 2010

Whales, Tiger Woods, and bottom-feeding

BTW, blogfish has been on a bit of a ride lately, sorry for the lack of words. But this here's a story that has blogfish splashed all over it. Ready: what do the following things have in common?

Sweatpants, a golf ball, surgical gloves, small towels, bits of plastic, and more than 20 plastic bags.

No, they're not the props from the opening scene of Randy Olson's next film. This is the trash found in the stomach of a gray whale that recently washed up dead on a Seattle beach.

Is this a sign of bad things, as the Seattle Times would have us believe? Is this happening because of the scourge of trash in the ocean, and toxic chemicals impairing a whales judgment? Or perhaps the sad result of disease forcing the whale to feed in sub-optimal locations?

I don't think so. Rather, this is a sign of something that we were warned about by Ronald Reagan, it's about the lack of personal responsibility. Or in this case whale responsibility. Any self-respecting whale should know better than to eat this garbage. I mean, just look at those sweatpants, who would want to wear calf-length balloon-bottom brown sweatpants.

I think this will be the start of my new campaign, for "Ocean Responsibility." I'm on a mission to make sure that the ocean takes responsibility for all of it's problems, and gets itself straight into rehab. After all, it's done wonders for Tiger Woods and his rehabbed penchant for bottom-feeding.