Sunday, October 05, 2008

Death from a thousand golf balls

Our oceans are choking...on golf balls. OK, maybe not choking, but here's a story that made me sad for how our oceans are viewed by some.

The Korean captain of a container ship says the ocean "makes a pretty good driving range." Oh great, he works on his golf swing while at sea by smacking balls into the ocean. Without a second thought.

Leaving aside the likelihood that he's violating international law, let's consider what he's doing. It's recreational littering. Maybe we should all get on board the recreational littering fad. I know, let's have fun by throwing wadded up paper onto people's lawns, because we get to exercise our throwing arms. Great.

Captain Seo is not alone, of course, cruise ships have driving ranges. But wait, they use simulators or driving cages to prevent ocean pollution by golf balls. It seems that they responded to international law by solving the problem.

Maybe I don't feel so bad after all. International law matters, people sometimes solve problems, and fewer golf balls are being hit into the sea these days. Captain Seo is an outlier, and maybe he'll come around someday. Right after the black helicopters come down and shake a "nasty finger" at him. I'll send in my helicopters right after I track down his ship.


Publicola said...

I've been reading your blog for a few weeks now and I have to say I really like what you write and how you write it. Our blogs have the same sort of basis. I'm hoping you can give me a read and let me know what you think. Any idea or suggestion will be appreciated.

thegreymadness said...

Solution -

Place containers in a thunderdome like embrace where Captain can launch a golf ball whenever he wants, he will only ever need one as it will richochete multiple times and he will be able to retrive the ball after he applies several ice packs to his bruised body.

Or -

He is allowed to drive them off of the ship,

only if he places the Tee in the mouth of his most loved as she/he lies prostrate on the deck.

Decisions, decisions.

Fish Whisperer said...

How about death by driver, or better yet by putter. This guy is a waste of air.

machupichu said...

The thought that the oceans have become junkyards for our plastic refuse and depleted of large marine fish is as tragic as the pollution of the air with excess carbon dioxide resulting in rising global temperatures. Industrialization from here on out needs to be tempered with our need for an Earth that can support all the species with which we share this blue planet.

Izzy said...

I hear a lot of oil rig workers do this as well. Perhaps someone could invent a biodegradeable golf ball? Would also come in handy when bad golfers *ahem* like me lose them in lakes and ponds. Just a thought.

Anonymous said...

I have seen an ECOBIOBALL on youtube, but the web is still under construction